Wednesday, 26 September 2012

One of those days when the bottom falls out of everything, again.

Every now and again, you receive a phone call that stops your heart and takes you to the verge of fainting. Suddenly your perception of everything changes; it’s amazing how easily a sentence or two can make the bottom drop out of your life.

First thing Monday morning last week, I was told that there was a 7mm shadow on my latest mammogram. Apparently there may be a technical fault, and more tests are needed. I’ve learnt that phrases like this are often a good way to break the bad news gently. Previously, I have been given the ‘all clear’ only to be told otherwise the next day.

Though I am obviously concerned cancer will return, the phone call took me totally by surprise. Surely it can’t be back so soon? I’m only just starting to feel normal after my first rounds of chemo and radiotherapy. The hardest thing you have to face before receiving cancer treatment is the fact that you know you are soon going to be very unwell in spite of feeling super fit and healthy before it starts. The waiting game between tests and results is stressful; it always feels like I’ve stepped into some sort of half-alive limbo. This week was even worse as I know the news may be quite bad.

Ergonomic design or interesting torture devices?!
Feeling quite jaded (what was the point in going through all that horrificness last year?!) I ended up back in the Countess at home on Friday morning. After plying me with sweet tea I was shown the scans and the definite shadow, scary stuff! But thankfully after more mammograms, ultrasounds and an examine, it turns out that it was probably just overlapping glandular tissue. Definitely not a tumour whatever!

Its not every day that you get your life handed back to you; told that everything is going to be ok after all. It’s an even harder emotion to describe than faint-inducing phone calls, but Friday was definitely one of the happiest days of my life!

Anyway its hard to not be happy when you start most days by cycling full pelt down the Clyde tunnel singing at the top of your voice!

Plenty more adventures to look forward to! Ta Sam for the photo.

No comments:

Post a Comment